if i was an ant...

-i'd b proud 2 b able 2 carry twice my size(i tink)
-i'd b dodgin stray bullets of water droplets each day tinkin dat its god sendin a flood wifout warnin noah 1st cos i dun see no ark=P
-i'd be experiencin major earthquakes almos evry sec of d day..those anoyin humans r actually magicians who can control d condition of d earth..curses!man its makin me nauseous=P
-i'd be wonderin y all d oder ants round me look identical 2 d way i look..hmmm...
-i'd prob have an extra sensitive antenna tellin me which way 2 find food...yum...=P

becky... says:
hey if u were an ant...?
becky... says:
finish d sentence
Jon Poon says:
u wud be my queen
Jon Poon says:
;P
becky... says:
loL!
Jon Poon says:
jiwang sial
becky... says:
memang=P

writers note: dis made me quite speechless..but was so cute=)

short post bout d funny tings dat wen throu my brain..=P

goodbye days=)

SUM1 once told me..not all goodbyes have to be sad..haha..n thou i kinda disagree but in order 2 have hope those goodbyes shud not be dat sad=P take leavin high skool 4 example..it was a happy moment for me to close that chap of my life..but if i knew wat was comin..i guess i wouldn have been so happy=P but den again u can't always rely on d memories u left behind..cos wat would life be if u din't create new memories to enjoy in d future=) u shudn 4get d memories u left behind..but neider shud u restrict urself to relivin those past memories..watever happened u shudn b afraid to make d best of the chicken bone dats been put on ur plate..u can always grind it up n use it as fertilizer to grow sum flowers..haha funny example but jus came 2 my mind=P as for tellin ur story..each one of us wans our story to be told..so dun b afraid to share it wif d ones who treasure u..if u dun have one yet..dun b 2 distracted bein a sadist cos u mite not have noticed but u jus passed a flower in full bloom dat wanted ur attention;)

back to wat i was talkin bout..i've been in a contemplative mood d past few days n watchin dis emo jap movie helped me act on wat i've been tinkin bout..finally..haha i've been wantin to post my thots but i couldn sort it out prop to act type it out in an organised fashion..n thou i know hardly any1 reads my blog but it helps to type my thots=) and anywayz for me..its nv been quantity but d quality of frens i make..wel dats wat i say..whether i act do it is anoder matter i guess..=P

anywayz back to wantin ur story to be heard..reminiscin on memories u woulda realised wat a great story ur life would be..haha well dats wat my past yr has made me tink..i've been surrounded by few good frens who were dere when i needed dem..=) even a few passin frens who helped me get back on track and helped me look forward to d future..lookin back dis pas yr i wouldn mind goin throu it all again..its helped me mature..n its helped me realise dat its ok to let go and be childish at times..its fine to mourn but dun take too long..u mite miss d breath taking view of d sun rising on d horizon..so lets write our story my fren..all i can say is..man its been drama=P

y m i lookin back?cos i hafta look forward of cos..becos like evry1 else..i wan my story to be written dwn..and to do dat..d 1st step is to look back..to know where i'm goin in d future, i need 2 know where i've been..i've tripped and fallen..i've been bruised badly but i've gotten up again..next time i'll know...

i aso thot bout d path not taken..d wat ifs in life..wat if i had waited..wat if i din't do dat..would i b happier?would i regret doin wat i decided?i'm sure i'm not d only one dat tinks dis way..haha sum factors realy weigh alot..thou u know ur final decision..ur head is filled wif wat ifs..but one ting i'm sure of is..once u've made a decision..once i've made a decision..i'll stick wif it..i'll give it my best shot..even thou after u've made d mistake..its only a real mistake if u look dwn..d best way 2 deal wif it is ignore how high up u r..keep lookin strait n dealin wif watever comes ur way..wakakaka

wel as my bro jus sed..its good 2 tink n ponder..jus dun ponder so much..wakakaka yesh i'm lettin myself go abit..i'm lettin watever d future wans 2 bring to bring it on..act i'm not sure if dis post even makes any sense de..wakaka goodnite world..*echoes*wootz~!^.^

my cup overflows^.^

m feelin exceptionally high yet again..thou 2nite is not caused by excess alcohol unfortunately=P its prob due 2 d adrenaline bein pumped into my blood stream causin nervousness and a weird cravin 2 start runnin in d mid of d nite=P at d same time a part of my brain has shut down simply due 2 d fact i need sleep and bein confronted by words uttered by myself in d past..wel prob aso due 2 avoidance..oo dis is gona b one anoyin nite..i'm tired but due 2 adrenaline its highly doubtful i'll get to rest in peace til mayb 3am..haha

btw las nites weddin was fun..at d start of d nite my bro was like..ok shud avoid all singh jokes 2nite..cos d groom was a singh..haha priceless man..when we arrived i was like..eh dis time its a singh..bein a baba certainly has its joys..my dads side of my family is so rojak..we've got muslims, indians n even mat sallehs..haha certainly beats norm chinese weddins^.^ and to poon..yeap i'm lucky i din't need 2 dress up like a clown;P anywayz we needn have worried..it was announced dat d brides indian name would b kiran..hahaha n aparently dere stil decidin on a chinese name 4 d groom..thou dey mentioned dat d common name chosen was a-singh or ah seng..even i'm not sure which he meant..its still funy..haha after dat d band played a wacky song bout who would u choose if both ur mother n wife were drownin..d chorus answers d ques by sayin..4 me i would choose my mommy..u can always get another wife but u'll nv get anoder mommy in ur life..wahahahah highlite of d nite 4 me..enhanced by alcohol of cos..1st weddin i've drank alcohol so made sure i took advantage of d free flowin smooth nice beer dey were servin=P anywayz were was i?o yea after dat came d emo parts n so on..i unexpectedly had fun..bro even took us 2 dis supposedly famous place 2 eat pork satay n yes!it tastes SOOoooOoOo good=P we even wen 2 sum pasar malam where my mom enjoyed herself by shoppin n even bought live fishes..d imediate response 2 dis seeminly absurd action by my 2nd bro was: "any bets on how long d fishes wil live?tink u better b prepared 2 give dem fishes a blowjob ron" wakakakaka..btw dey surprisinly lived d journey n trauma of stayin alone for 4 hrs n anoder 3hrs on a movin van as we made our way home from malacca..wootz~!

i tink zhang wil b overjoyed wif dis post..his comment when he saw my blog was.."u remember u told me dat u thot wei yans blog is quite depressin?wel urs sorta d same cept abit better cos its like depressin movin towards happiness" haha n wel dis was aso sparked by my realisation dat i tink hell girls makin me quite a sadist n not 2 mention berts similarities 2 myself..oo sumtin more 2 mention..i came across dis pic 2nite:

den i was reminded of dis pic:

haha dis seriously put a smile on my face..of d frenships i've made dis yr i can say dat jason def helped each day i had 2 go throu wif SAM..my fren once made dis statement "hes a liar la..he lies alot..he told me he broke up wif his gf..does he lie 2 u?" i replied dis wif "hes jus protectin himself la..wel he nv needs 2 tel me anytin..so he doesn't lie 2 me..cos he knows he doesn't hafta tell me anytin.." haha jason has been spacin out n keepin 2 himself lately..d las time dis happened it had sumtin 2 do wif his mom n i at d time had jus broken up..i duno wats been up wif him lately but i wish him al d best..n i will miss my gay banana bro!=P haha i still remember when he was freaked out by all d gay guys goin after him..wootz~!i guess i'll end my happy post ere..hopin dis wil clear out sum of d air of emoness n sadistism in my blog..hahaha 2 more days til my finals ends!wootz~!can't wait^.^

..selfishly me..

mm findin it quite hard not 2 b selfish..interestin statement..althou i nv did elaborate on fefe dobsons song~be strong..takin a break from studyin bio..anywayz i find dat song quite reasurin..d lyrics r tellin u dat u know wat..i've been were u r..i know wat ur goin throu..n thou it seems tough..but i know u can get throu it..u jus need 2 b strong..n of cos its talkin bout bein betrayed by sum1 u love n losin dem 2 anoder person..n u know u shud b angry..but instead u jus break dwn n fin it hard 2 move on..wel when i heard d song..it jus seemed like god reminded me of wat i've been throu, wat i've overcomed n where i m now..thou i find myself bein quite selfish at times n tough 2 concen on oder ppls problems but i guess dats part of d solution i took 2 overcome a messed up situation of my emotions n troubles..wif time thou i'm sure it'll b sumtin i'll get d hang off..i hate bein selfish..den again i can't help bein selfish at d time bein..haha..prob sumtin i shud commit 2 god aso..on a lighter note..feelin freakin FREAKIN tired cos slept at 6am dis mornin til 12..thou no regrets jus dat it was d 1st time dis yr i slept dat late or rather that early?haha its been a long time since i had an intimate chat wif zhang n when was talkin 2 him at 3am it kinda hit me dat i was protectin myself n disclosin tings from him compared 2 las time..haha felt nice 2 b frank wif sum1 again..aso wen joggin 2day..m growin fatter tanks 2 deepavali n finals season..studyin always makes me hungry:p wel guess dats all i gota say..finaly confronted certain facts bout certain ppl close 2 me dat i redy knew deep dwn but was avoidin i guess..now i understand a lil more clearly y my relationship wif certain ppl is dat way..n i guess now i can restrain myself more n b tankful those close 2 me came throu 4 me n made me wat i m 2day..so 2 those dat shud know who u r n even if u dun..tanks 4 bein there when i needed u n when i din't..tanks 4 not bein dere when i was bein whiny cos dat taught me 2 b independent..as zhang sed i shudn depend on a stick 2 hold me up no more..i've always been independent but recently got 2 comfortable leanin on a stick n followin a path dat wasnt hard n din't require much effort..haha so 2 those..a silent wootz!tanks 4 bein a fren=)

Fefe Dobson~Don't Let It Go To Your Head~

So what if I came clean
And told you all you mean to me
So what if I meant every word I said
Baby don't let it go to your head
So what if I write your name
Cause you're always on my brain
In a heart, I paint it crimson red
Baby don't let it go to your head

Don't be getting any big ideas
Let me make it clear

[Chorus:]
Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head

So what if I want to kiss
>From your toes up to your lips
It don't mean that you've had me yet
You're gonna be good, I bet

I'm the one whose in control here
Let me make it clear

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head

Ohhhhh
Don't let it go to your head
Ohhhhh

I had a porcelain doll
I held on to it so tightly
But when it broke, I swore
I'd never hold on to something that tightly again
Don't let it go to your head
Oh, no (oh, no)

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
Don't let it go to your head

Just cause I can't go on
Just cause I die when you're gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don't let it go to your head
If I looked in your eyes (ohh)
One, two, too many times
And memorized every word you said
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)
Don't let it go to your head (don't let it, don't let it)
Don't let it go to your head (ohh)

thots: haha i find dis song so ironic..quite funny=P thou it does reflect part of how i feel bout a certain issue=)

Fefe Dobson~Be Strong~

It's ok baby
For you to feel
Take as much time
You need to heal
Such a pretty girl

I was once where you are
So in love
I once had begged
The great lord above
Please bring him home

[Chorus]
Be strong
So strong
I know you can baby girl hold on
Be strong
So strong
Cause now your man, baby girl, is gone

He's in another girl's loving arms
You watch her working
Her womanly charms
And you wonder why
You break down and cry

[Chorus]

Baby I once cried
Where you cried before
I've heard the same lies
Showed my man the door

[Chorus]

It's ok baby for you to feel
Let your tears go by
Just break down and cry

thots: dang i wan dis song..=/

..paths..

A path was paved
The day I was born
I din't know it at the time
But a story had begun

Along this path
I discovered
Small routes
Taken by rodents
Escaping the hunter

Many a times
I contemplated escaping the chase i began
Retreating to the trees
And following the steps
Those before me had taken

As I look down
I remember once again
Why i chose this path

Suddenly I'm confronted
The hunter is catching up to me
And here I am stuck

I look ahead
I see two paths

One is marked with colour filled trees
I leaped at the path
Only to realise
A second in time
The end showing a grim destination

The other is dully black and white
The more I stared at it
My inner self rejoiced
I scolded myself
Second thinking, second guessing
My abilities, my passion to succeed

Suddenly
I hear the cracking of wood
The hunter nears me

I rush to decide
Not wanting to reach a destination i would regret
Not wanting to end this chase
Not wanting to go through the suffering

Tick Tick Tick
My heart races

The colourful path seems to become narrower
The dull path seems to become inviting
Will i regret this?

A choice was made
Will another path pop up?

Tonight..
A choice was made
No more second guessing

Instead
God?
Is this what you want?
Did i make the right choice?

Or will a trap instead
Make me fall
And end this chase

That began when this story started...